Surgery. It's huge in general. For any reason, for most people. But what happens when it's something you've wanted since puberty first kick you in the ass? Let me tell you allllll about it!
Now, please keep in mind that I am about to say something that many have scoffed at and isn't exactly...sensitive. But I don't mean it like that. This is something that crossed the mind of a 12-13 year old who had no clue what was going on or why and just wanted it to all stop.
Breast cancer is not funny and I, as an adult, am aware of its consequences. However, when I was a very early teenager, I wished I'd get breast cancer so my boobs wouldn't develop. I didn't know how it worked and didn't understand. All I wanted was to stop the female puberty I was experiencing because it was literally the most terrifying thing that I had ever experienced. I also wished for glasses and braces as a kid. I only "achieved" the goal of getting glasses.
It wasn't easy but I managed to survive it. It being puberty. It didn't kill me, but there were times, and an insane amount of times since, where I thought it would. Being a bigger trans guy simply meant that it was a little easier to pass with people thinking I had "man boobs." It didn't make it any easier on me knowing the truth beneath my clothes. I won't say that I hate my body because I actually find myself semi-attractive. Attractive enough to not constantly fish for compliments or anything. But I will admit that I have some aspects that are not ideal.
Aside from getting cancer that would result in a doctor removing my manly man boobs, as I do not want to wish that upon myself or anyone else, surgery is the only way to sculpt a more pleasing chest. The questions that arise when you become conscious of this desire (and of age to have it done) are almost never-ending. What doctor do I go to? Are they local? What's the cost? Do I have to stay at the hospital? Can I afford it? Can I get off work? Will I lose sensation in my nipples? And many, many more questions. I've been asking myself these questions for 14 years.
It takes a lot of research. You have a lot of things to consider. The biggest for me personally is actually a tie between cost, location and scarring. If I'm going to spend $7,000 on a new chest, I want it to look good and I don't want any of those deep red/purple scars that can come along with the surgery. I'm willing to travel most anywhere in the US. I'm willing to spend around $10,000.
One question, you might have and I have only been asked once by someone not involved in the decision making process... "what about bottom surgery?" I will be honest with you guys: I don't trust the technology and technique yet. It's getting there, I believe. Maybe in a few years, as the surgery is perfected and science advances, but I'm not prepared for that yet. And I sure as hell am not getting skin grafts from my abdomen or thighs. HELL NAH. First, that shit is painful. Second, those scars are gnarly to say the least. Third, it is extremely expensive and there are so many options that it overwhelms me at times.
Not all trans guys need or want surgery. Some are lucky enough to have small chests to begin with and by simply working out, they can make the pectoral muscles stronger and make the chest firmer. Add some T, whether it be shots, gel, pills or a patch, and you're bound to have a more masculine chest than without. Some guys are more FTN which is Female to Neutral to where they don't necessarily want to be a guy, but they don't want to be a woman. That's a new concept that I discovered tonight and have done very light research so please forgive my current ignorance on the term.
Alas, for most of us, it is a very important part of our gender affirmation. It's something that is absolutely necessary when it comes to transitioning completely. For me, for this guy right here, I want to have surgery. I need to have my surgery. In my perception of what it means to be a man, what it means for me to be complete, I need to have a chest that - scars or not - can't be seen as man boobs or anything like that. It's simply part of my identity and I am excited to have it.
Resources for your own research:
http://www.chicagoftmtopsurgery.com/ (found this gem today - I'm very interested in this surgeon)
http://www.ftmguide.org/chest.html (the first site I used to learn about being trans and transitioning)
http://www.drgarramone.com/ (many many many people speak his praise, also considering him)
http://www.newbeginningsretreat.com (AMAZING facility - most rooms are booked through 2014)
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