Stress

We all have it: stress. It's not fun, it's not something to look forward to, it's not always bad. Everyone deals with stress differently and not everyone realizes that. Stress comes from just about everything you can imagine, from relationships to work/school, from what to eat to where to live, from what to name your hamster to what car to buy. Name it and somebody has probably stressed about it before.
The good thing about stress is it is totally manageable. Whether you take a break and regroup, or you power through, or you break down and cry it out. It always has an end, even if it seems ever-lasting. The key to managing stress is using positive coping skills. For me, that includes listening to music, driving, talking to people, and crying. Some people work out,  others sleep, many isolate themselves. That isn't all bad. Sometimes, you just have to figure it our on your own, in your own time. But you have to remember to reconnect. Make sure that once you figure it out, you grab a cold one with your friends, or take your lover to that new movie they want to see. Hell, call your mom and say "I love you." Maybe she will come do your laundry or send you some money for thinking of her.
Stress came finitely be dangerous if you don't cope with it well. It can lead to depression. A study from early 2013 concluded that there is "a connection between stigma and a respondent's psychological distress". What this means is people who participated in the study exhibited signs of clinical depression and anxiety, at 41% and 33%, respectively. These stressors lead to physical symptoms. Often times, transgender people have a history of self-harm that continues on into adulthood.
There is no end-all, be-all stress reliever. You do what works for you. You just have to remember that the stress will end. Even if you need to get away for a few days. Just take time for yourself, recharge, refocus, and take another crack at it. Stress will come and go, just like the wind. You just have to know how it affects you and handle it accordingly.

If you are suffering from depression and feel as if suicide is the only way out, please reconsider. Text the word support to 741741 and someone will text you back. I know someone listening was enough to save my life. You may also call 1-800-272-8355 to speak to someone at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. You can even chat online if you are more comfortable with that. Just please reach out.


Resources:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline, suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Transgender People More Likely To Develop Depression And Anxiety, By Susan Scutti, June 21, 2013

     http://www.medicaldaily.com/transgender-people-more-likely-develop-depression-and-anxiety-247044

Privileges

As a trans man ... I don't even like that. "Trans man". I'm simply a man. Being transgender does't define what kind of man I am, my character does.
Being Colby, being the person I am, I haven't had the same privileges as my natural born male friends. You know...sneaking the first kiss, reaching for the hand first, asking my crush to prom, asking my crush to be my exclusive partner in crime... I didn't have those...rites of passage to go through growing up. Coming out as transgender after high school wasn't necessarily a disadvantage for me. It really didn't harm nor help. I would have been accepted, I believe, by my close friends and I think it would have made more sense as to my personality to others. But it didn't hinder me from having a semi-normal high school experience.
Am I disappointed that I didn't get to ask my crush to prom? That my (then) best friend (who was a guy) agreed to go with me because we were friends. I'm sure, on some subconscious level, he felt sorry for me. He could have gone to prom with anyone he wanted. Girls fawned over this guy for whatever reason. I even pretended to be head over heels so others would think I was "normal." But I still didn't get to ask my crush (or even attend) to prom. And honestly, I wouldn't have asked anyone to prom...it's the principle. It's the rite... It's the privilege.
It's not easy being a person in general. We all have our struggles and our flaws. But they can make us beautiful people. I am a much stronger and more beautiful person because of the journey I've been on so far. Being transgender does not define me. It simply means that there are many privileges and rites of passage I didn't get to experience. Most of them will never happen again and I'm coming to terms with that.
I've been granted many other rites of passages that most people won't experience. The first time I went into the men's bathroom and found out they really can be gross as hell. The first time I got called sir on the phone. Even if I was sick, I smiled for days. The first time a cisgender cowboy wanted to beat my ass for being in the men's bathroom. Getting my name changed and all the legal documents that now reflect my chosen name. And one of my favorites...the comradeship that has come from meeting, talking and knowing other guys in my position. They are guys I will forever love and cherish.
It's the little things that many people, cisgender or not, take for granted that men in my position cherish and want to experience. We may not get the chance and we have to accept that, or do something extraordinary to make it happen. I, for one, am willing to do the extraordinary to say that I did indeed ask my crush to prom. Not only that, but she said yes.