I had a friend of mine tell me a sad story today. A gay woman she works with demeaned her because she told the lady she was bisexual. This woman is openly gay and they were discussing when their parents found out about their sexuality. Well, as a non-parent, I guess I don't see why it matters when a parent "finds out" their child is gay, lesbian, transgender, pan gender, whatever. Do straight people say "Hey Ma, guess what! I'm straight!" No…don't think so. And if you do, what in the hell?
Everybody, whether you like to be on top or on bottom. Whether you like to penetrate or to be penetrated. Whatever your preference is, you deserve to be respected. How dare you tell someone they're "greedy and nasty" because they love differently than you do. How dare you look down upon someone who fights the same battle you do in society. Being bisexual is as much a choice as being gay, tall, fat, blue-eyed.
At dinner tonight with a couple of gay friends, the conversation came up (not by my own instigation) and it was an eye-opener for me. I wasn't raised any better than any of my friends. I was just lucky to have the open-minded mom that I have and went to the most culturally diverse elementary school in town. So, judging someone by color, creed, sex, gender identity, whatever was just something that I didn't understand until I was a teenager if not older.
I heard one friend tell me how his opinion on bisexuality had changed as he got older. My other friend didn't understand how it worked until we explained it to him. Being able to see someone's mind change in front of me was spectacular. I'm endeared to this person a little more than I was because I was able to see the dots connect in his mind and a new door in his life had been opened.
Being bisexual doesn't mean you're a sex fanatic and you will boink whoever will get into your pants. It's absolutely not like that. Did you know that being bisexual isn't even being attracted to men and women? If that were the case, nearly every human being would be bisexual. I find some men attractive, either physically or intellectually. However, I'd never hop into bed with a guy willingly. Nope, never. Not happening in this damn lifetime. I know friends who are married and attracted to women, but they don't want to have sex with another woman.
Most bisexual individuals are more attracted to the personality or "various other attributes and take note of gender afterwards" instead of caring whether they're bedding with a specific gender. It has nothing to really do with gender or orientation as much as it does what matters. And isn't that what we all want? To be loved for everything that we are and hope to be? The worst thing you can do is to demean someone who is bisexual, especially if you are gay. That's like telling your sister or brother that they're lesser than you are. It's not okay. It shouldn't be tolerated.
Resources:
Common Myths of Bisexuality, Bi's and Allies -- a caucus of Pride @ UIC
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