Seeing as it's Mother's Day, I didn't do any research or prepare any real blog for today. Instead, I think what I'll do is just write. I can be good at that from time to time.
Here we are, in 2013, and there are still extreme prejudices against people who "deviate" from what society deems as "normal". But what is normal? Why do people still think that being gay is a "lifestyle" or that being "transgender" is a choice? There's a video that has gone viral on Facebook that has straight people trying to answer the question gay people have been asked since the moment they come out. "When did you choose to be gay?" I have yet to be asked "When did you choose to be transgender?"
I didn't CHOOSE to be anything. I was simply born as Megan but I never identified with that. Not all people, gay or trans, realize it at a young age. Not all come out when they do realize it. I didn't know what the word "transgender" meant until I was in high school. I just knew, growing up, that I wasn't what everyone expected of me. I will admit this, my mom gave me an amazing name. How many people can say that their initials are also their nickname and the first three letters of their first name. Meg is a common nickname for Megan. Megan Elizabeth Garner would be my previous name. Pretty cool, if you ask me.
Acceptance isn't something that is expected. Not for most people I know, anyway. You may not understand that I am not defined by what the medical community labels me as. I wasn't born with male anatomy, but I am a man. I don't expect you to accept me due to your lack of understanding. The only thing I do expect is respect. For my life, in my experience, I have not really experienced any disrespect.
I'll probably say this often in the more personal posts I make, but I have been very blessed to have a lot of support. One of the first people who started calling me Colby on a daily basis and using the male pronouns is still in my life. I love her to pieces, even if we don't talk on a daily basis. In every day conversation with other people, she was careful to not give away my "secret."
I have never been ashamed of who I am, but I haven't always been as open as I am now. If you couldn't tell (pre-name change) that I identified as male, I just figured you were blind. I came off as very tomboy-ish, which was fine to an extent. I've had a handful of people who knew upon meeting me that I didn't feel quite comfortable in my skin. When I trusted you, I told you. There were even a select few within that group who immediately started calling me Colby and using the masculine pronouns I had so longed to hear my whole life.
I'm no braver than any average person. If I had been born into a male body, I would still be me, I would still be who I am. In my opinion. I've had other people tell me that I'm brave and a hero for embracing who I am and for being open and wanting to make a difference in the world. I humbly accept their compliment, even though I don't fully agree. I now understand why people just smile and quietly say "thank you" when I tell them they are beautiful. They may not agree, but they accept the compliment.
I am me. I happen to live in a world where I have to "come out" as a transgender person because it's not "normal" to be born into the wrong body. I've watched a lot of documentaries lately where parents are allowing their children to come out and are being supportive when their young son says he wants to be called Hanna instead of Harry. It's not always easy, I get that. I'm experiencing it with my own mother and friends. But the best thing you can do for anyone who is gay or transgender, or in any way "deviant" from society, is respect them. You may not understand who they are or the journey that lies ahead for them, but respect them. Make it easier by calling them their chosen name, use the correct pronouns and allow them to express their own individuality and character without trying to mold them into what society believes they should be accustomed to.
Resources:
"Watch These Straight People Answer A Question Gay People Have Been Asked For Years", Upworthy.com, Rebecca Eisenberg
http://www.upworthy.com/watch-these-straight-people-answer-a-question-gay-people-have-been-asked-for-years-6?g=2
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